Thursday, March 8, 2007

What are Christians teaching their children, again?

Objective: 4 Kidz with Lambuel! This is a creepy, creepy, creepy website that has some deeply funny and creepy flash animations. Edit: And, it seems, this is a parody site. So the rest of what I said about this subject has to be taken as me being terribly wrong. I am, it seems, very good at being wrong, but I shall keep on and, perhaps, through being wrong I will some day become right. Hey, it could happen! For the record, I toyed with the idea of it being a parody site and decided against it because on their main page they have banner ads to fundie Christian sites that are real. It's beautiful subversion! They're probably getting paid for those banner ads that then fund the parody. Great work, guys. The best parody is one that people take seriously./edit

So, in Habu's Corner, you have an elephant-esque "Hindu", I'm guessing, here, and it says this:

Hey, Habu... How many gods do you have?

"I don't know! I lost count!"

Wouldn't you rather have just one God who loves you a bunch than a bunch of gods that don't love you at all?

Jesus loves everybody, even the unsaved like Habu! Remember to pray for Habu and others like him that they may find Jesus and accept Him into their hearts!

Yeah, Jesus loves Habu so much that unless Habu changes his ways, Jesus is gonna pitch Habu into a pit of fire forever and ever. If that's infinite love, I'll content myself with the mortal variety.


What should you do if you find an Atheist?

If you find an Atheist in your neighborhood,

You may be moved to try and witness to
these poor lost souls yourself, however

Atheists are often very grumpy and bitter and will lash out at children or they may even try to trick you into neglecting God's Word.

Very advanced witnessing techniques are needed for these grouches. Let the adults handle them.

Folks, there's a word for this. Religious discrimination. Could you imagine the uproar if an atheist website said, openly, that if atheist children encounter Christians that the atheists should run away, do not talk to the Christian, tell some adults because the Christian is so threatening so the atheist child's parents could come to convert the Christian? It would be decried as discrimination and they'd be right. Well, this is also discrimination - but it is interesting, too. Note the fear of atheism suggested by this. Children needed to be warned about us, so they can flee our mere presence.

Remember, click on the little figures and things will happen! They move and stuff!

Also of particular note is the Kanga-Jew. I can't make this kind of shit up. I am not that funny.

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Brian Dunbar said...

Yeah, Jesus loves Habu so much that unless Habu changes his ways, Jesus is gonna pitch Habu into a pit of fire forever and ever. If that's infinite love, I'll content myself with the mortal variety.

To put it in terms of the site ..

Jesus loves Habu - but he respects that free will thing we've got.

You know this of course, and this wasn't meant to be preaching just quibbling.

March 9, 2007 8:48 AM  
Chris Bradley said...


I can't agree with that. I don't think it's respecting a person's free will if, upon exercise of that free will, you condemn them to an eternity of torture. That sounds to me like the very definition of duress. "You can do whatever you like, and suffer in hell, or do what I say and go to heave." That just doesn't sound, to me, like respect for free will.

March 9, 2007 10:25 AM  
Krystalline Apostate said...

I think you need to read this before you go any farther on this topic.

March 9, 2007 12:08 PM  
Chris Bradley said...

LOL. My wife said, "This has to be a parody." I said, "No, way! Look at the normal page?" It was the banner ads that convinced me that they were legitimate, but that seems to be part of their plan. It worked! Ah, so much for me being skeptical, huh?

March 9, 2007 12:14 PM  
Krystalline Apostate said...

Ah, so much for me being skeptical, huh?
De nada, mi amigo.
I did something similar about a year ago. I recall getting stoked about this 'triclavianism' (or whatevah the fuck it's called) crap. I think someone at the NGB pointed that out.
Eerie, though, is that picture of the atheist goat.
They even got the color of my bathrobe right. Not to mention the resemblance. HAHAHAHAHA!.

March 9, 2007 1:12 PM  
Chris Bradley said...

I don't drink coffee! That's the only way the goat was off for me. My wife was, "You are kinna like that in the morning." *shakes fist at her* :)

I am learning valuable blogging lessons, now! Woo woo! I shall prevail.

March 9, 2007 1:18 PM  

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